Category Archives: Humor

Laugh Often

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she now  has 14 kids but she doesn’t really care. 

2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. 

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does. 

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes! 

11. Skinny people irritate me when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’  Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. 

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating far too much, impulse buying and driving way  too fast. Are they kidding? Just throw in a cocktail and that’s my idea of a perfect day! 

 
LIVE SIMPLY…LAUGH OFTEN…LOVE DEEPLY
 

    

 If I could jump for Joy, I would.   So you, go ahead, no one is watching ”  ~     Barbara

( Just For Fun  : 0 )

**Original author unknown**

This is an original work of the author unless otherwise stated.  **Modified*

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Garbage In – Garbage Out

Law of the Garbage Truck


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

so … Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don’t.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

** Original Author Unknown**

This is an original work from the author unless otherwise noted.